i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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