didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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