I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
