So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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