I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
