Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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