The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
