That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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