i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
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