We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize