The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Come see our sink grown plant.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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