Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
