sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
