i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
His nipple licking is glorious
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