I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
