Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize