this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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