he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
