okay pat passed out under dana's car
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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