How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
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