i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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