To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Randomize
