god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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