Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
