Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Boobs are out for the taking
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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