I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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