there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
