god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Randomize
