quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I love having hate sex.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
