So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
is wine microwaveable?
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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