he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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