Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
love makes seman taste better
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
