So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
