2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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