Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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