brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Randomize
