At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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