so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
