Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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