shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
