we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
