would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Randomize
