I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
