mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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