this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
