Only a mothe r could love this liver
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
