They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
