A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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