I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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