Non-Jews are for practice
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize