Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
