Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
that may or may not have been my penis.
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