I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
