So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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