I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Even my vagina gasped.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
