its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Holy shit dude........stairs
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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