what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
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